What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

But, we were locked up after school.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

I couldn’t, believe it.

Why do you think it is bad to allow people to self-identify as a different gender?

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

Which one is better to guys, boobs or butt?

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

What is it like to wear a kilt?

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

What is the most unwatchable movie you have sat through?

My family never makes their pension either.

All the time i was locked up.

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

Is it ethical for same-sex couples to raise children?

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

I know ,a lot about trauma.

What is the difference between the Bible and the Qur'an?

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

Prescription risk: Meds that could cause dementia - WFMZ.com

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

Are judges being lenient on hard criminals?

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

One cannot live in the past .

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

What is your best gay fantasy?

But ive been too sick for many years..

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

This is soul school!.

Can I study a master’s in travel and tourism in Sweden within a budget of 5 lakhs INR?

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

She loved him until the end.

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

Was to survive, this bastard.

My life is so biszare .

But it wasn’t much.

Would this be the day?

She found it foreign!.

I was 9 years of age.

He knew the spot.

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

This is how, and why children get BPD.

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

So whats the point in blame.

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

We were not on the streets..

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

I said to her

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

When she asked me how she looked .

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

I write beautiful poetry .

My mum and dad in the seventies!

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

And who doesn’t know suffering?

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

They are buried together, in the same grave..

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

I was very sick at this time too.

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

And i lived it daily.

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

We all went to grammer schools

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

I waited trembling.

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

Ive learnt so much.

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

I have no regrets .

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

Comes on , in middle age.

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

She wouldn,t have been !

Im still living with it.

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

I could never make a relationship work though!

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

I was seconnd youngest,

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

So, i spoilt her more .

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

I will be 64.

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

She married twice! .

On the 31st of Jan this month .

He resisted the act ,that day.

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

I think the readers, may guess!

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

Put me off passion for life!!

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Where the ultimate outsiders.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

I did it because my mum asked me too!

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

(And it was in our own minds.)

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

He was dying to do it , i knew.

The only rule us 5 kids had .

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

Who then, do I blame.?

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

I don,t even have a pension.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

As i do to all so called friends.?

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

Why did i forgive my father ?

It was going to be , some day.

I was scared of men, in general

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

Especially a lifetime of it.

She was in good health!

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

I never cut or harmed myself..

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

What did i know ?